


until there's nothing left to say

by lockedinmybody



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, Prison, Self-Hatred, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 16:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9830102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedinmybody/pseuds/lockedinmybody
Summary: Based on recent spoilers.Aaron gets sentenced to twelve months in prison. Robert and Liv try to cope. Together.





	

The drive back home from prison is tense. A car filled with a hollowed out Robert, Liv biting her lip trying not to cry and a whole lotta silence.  
Houses pass by, but Robert's not really paying attention. From the corner of his eye he sees Liv too focused on looking out the window. He wants to say something, wants to reassure her that everything's gonna be okay but he knows better than to sell her sweetened lies.  
It was their first time visiting Aaron in prison since he got sent down.  
Aaron had sat down at that table, fingers twitching but one look at the guard had reminded him he wasn't allowed to touch either of them. Robert had seen how hard Aaron was trying to keep it together. He'd been in prison for three weeks, and the exhaustion was visible on his face but he seemed fine otherwise. Aaron had quickly delved into meaningless small talk with Liv, who went along with it for both their sakes.  
She's quiet now. Robert takes a turn to the left and clears his throat. "D'you have any suggestions for tea?" It takes a little while for Liv to respond. "Hm? Oh, I texted Gabby, I'm having it at hers if that's alright." _great, so she's running from ya. Well done Robert!_ Robert gives her a small smile. "Sure. Just don't be back too late."

***

"Oh, here y'are." Chas pokes her head around the door and walks into the backroom. Robert quickly wipes at his eyes. "Yeah." Chas silently looks at him for a few seconds. Robert pushes his lips together harshly as he feels new tears welling up in his eyes and dripping down his cheeks. "Oh love." Chas quickly walks over and sits down next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders and pulling him closer.  
Robert tries to breathe deeply, feeling his lungs stutter with the need to cry. They sit there for a while, Chas rubbing up and down Robert's arm.  
"Do you..." Robert starts but cuts himself off. Chas looks at him, gives him a reassuring smile. "Liv knows I'm here for her, right?" He whispers eventually. Chas audibly draws a breath. "It was hard seeing her like this today. I could tell she wanted to flip that table and just drag Aaron out of there and never let him go." He huffs a small laugh. "God knows I wanted to do the same." _but you couldn't stop it, could you? If you hadn't fought with Aaron he wouldn't have decked Kasim, so this is your fault._ Robert wipes a hand over his face, sitting up a little. "She has such a smart mouth on her, sometimes I forget she's still a kid." Chas squeezes his shoulder once and then drops her hand. "I know. She reminds me of Aaron a lot."  
Chas picks up Robert's forgotten and now cold mug of tea and empties it in the kitchen sink. He had almost made two out of habit. 

***

He's been in there for almost two months. Robert wasn't lying when he said his life would be on hold with Aaron being away. I mean, the world kept spinning. He and Adam are keeping the scrapyard going, Vic is clearly making an effort to see him more often and he has dinner with Chas and Liv every night. But Robert doesn't feel like any of it is real. He snaps out of it sometimes, feeling like he's not really there. He's constantly forgiven by anyone on the receiving end of his hazy mental state but he still feels like he's not doing enough.  
So when he and Liv finish eating (Chas had a night away with Paddy) he wants to do something about it. "Liv, d'y wanna go see a film sometime this week?" He puts the plates away and turns to look at her. She looks as empty as he has felt for the past few weeks, blonde hair in a messy braid falling over one shoulder. Her features harden into something defensive. She opens her mouth to say something but decides against it. "Ya know, like you and Aaron sometimes do?" Robert tries again. He rarely ever feels so out of his depth but the need to impress Liv, bond with her and _care_ for her has him floundering. He sees how his words rub her up the wrong way. "Don't bother." She grits out, and walks out to quickly run up the stairs. He hears her bedroom door slam shut and sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. He feels the back of his eyes burning with tears, knowing that if Aaron were here he would know what to do, know how to make it okay.  
He grabs a mug out of the cupboard and puts the kettle on. Two minutes later he quietly walks up the stairs and leaves the mug at her door. 

***

"She didn't wanna come." Aaron concludes. They are on month five, and Robert is sitting at one side of the table in the visiting room, alone. Aaron sounds defeated and Robert tries not to wince. He hears the undertone of _i knew this would happen, i knew she wouldn't be able to do this the whole way through_ and tries not to feel like it's _his_ fault that Liv didn't want to come along.  
"She was just tired. Long day at school." Robert settles with, knowing Aaron won't believe him but not being able to bring himself to admit the truth. _i think she hates me Aaron. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm constantly screwing up. I need you to fix it, please come home._  
"How's mum?" Robert tells him about Chas' occasional dates with Paddy, about how Adam and he are getting along and that Liv is really sticking to her school work. Aaron had made it clear before that he didn't want to discuss his life on the inside while Robert visited him, so Robert doesn't ask. He does feel a shot of relief everytime Aaron walks into that visiting room without bruises. 

When Robert arrives back home, he immediately lets himself fall on the couch. He sits up, his elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands. He realises how on edge he has felt in the past months, how much Aaron _grounds_ him and makes him feel more comfortable.  
He covers his face with his hands, and his shoulders start to shake as sobs bubble up from his chest. He cries harder than he has in years, tired and frustrated at feeling so utterly useless, wanting to make everything better but not knowing how. Robert doesn't know how long he's been sitting there, until he feels two hands taking his own. Liv stands in front of him, red rimmed eyes and a quivering lip.  
Robert feels almost embarrassed but he cannot stop crying. Liv takes one more look at his tear stained face before putting her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.  
Robert lets his legs fall open so she can stand in between them and hugs her back, dragging one hand over hair. Somewhere in his mind he registers how hugging Liv feels similar to hugging Vic.  
"I'm sorry I'm not him." He whispers. He feels Liv nod against his shirt.  
She lifts her face so she can speak. "I'm glad I have you." Robert squeezes her a little tighter, feeling his throat close up with more tears.  
He makes them both a brew, and they sit at the kitchen table for a while. Eventually, Liv speaks. "We could go see La La Land. See what the fuss is about."  
They go two days later. Robert buys them popcorn, and it feels a lot more like he's being a good big brother than a good fiancé. 

***

Aaron's being released after six months because of his good behaviour.  
A few days after they get the news, Liv goes to find Robert in the kitchen. "Look! We could do something like this." She shoves the iPad she's holding in front of him, showing a recipe and a picture of a big cake with colourful lettering. Robert grabs a notepad and pen and starts making a shopping list. 

Robert picks Aaron up and drives him home. Liv insisted on finishing the decorations and the cake.  
"Rob? You passed it already." Aaron frowns as he looks back at the Woolpack getting further away from him. Robert grins. "I know. But that's not home."  
He lets Aaron step into the Mill first. It's still quite empty, walls a stark white and zero furniture. But it is clean, and ready for them and Liv had thrown some tinsel and balloons around. She's standing in the living room, holding the cake and Aaron smiles so wide he could split his face in two. Robert gently takes the cake from her hands as both siblings throw themselves around each other. "I missed you so much. I'm back now and I'm not going away ever again." He hears Aaron's voice waver as he says it. Robert doesn't have to see Liv's face to know she's crying as well.  
He takes the cake to the kitchen, putting it down on the counter and grabbing the plastic plates and forks from his bag.  
"Robert?" Liv calls out. He walks back out. "Yeah?" He barely gets the word out before Liv puts her arms around his waist. He smiles softly and pets her head. His eyes meet Aaron's, both glazed over. 'I love you' Aaron mouths. "I love you too." Robert says back.  
He squeezes Liv.  
"And I love you."


End file.
